The Lost Soul Behind the Music
What do we lose when the legends we love die too young?
On this day seven years ago, Tim died at the tender age of 28.
As he ascended to fame and toured the world, Tim struggled. His songs resonated with millions of listeners for decades. He revolutionized electronic music and ushered in an era of high-octane euphoric, emotional trance music that reached the masses from his infamous experimental live set at Ultra in 2013 to his final performance at Ushuaïa in Ibiza in 2016.
He felt the pressure of a young star with every song he produced. Each time he entered the studio until the very end, he faced the shadow of his past success. Despite all who watched him, Tim reeled.
"When I was 16, my father told me you can do anything you want with your life, you just have to be willing to work hard to get it,” Tim, also known as Avicii, wrote in the intro to his song, The Nights, in 2015. “That's when I decided when I die, I wanna be remembered for the life I lived, not the money I made."
On this day, I just want to recommend watching I’m Tim, the Netflix documentary about Avicii’s life and struggles. It isn’t perfect by any means. There are plenty of questions about the amount of pressure he received from people close to him as he searched for success, as well as the support (and lack thereof) he had as he struggled with deep anxiety, addiction, and the limelight.
What could have been done? Who has and hasn’t been held accountable? It’s a question that will always come up when a star dies so young.
I grew up listening to Avicii. I would throw “Fade Into Darkness” on repeat when I felt homesick when I sat at my desk at college, thousands of miles from home. Avicii, Daft Punk, deadmau5—they all shaped my early love for how electronic music could fill the heart and shake the soul. Tim’s documentary acts as a love letter to the talented kid who became the star who fell from the sky all too soon.
His drive, his precocious talent, his passion—all were beautiful to behold.
We lose what could have been when we fixate on what was lost. But we gain so much when we reflect on the impact a life had on so many others in such a short time.
A quick aside: I’d love for you to subscribe to this little meditative experience called a newsletter. Apologies for the delay. I’m hoping to do this weekly. But I’m getting used to the cadence. If you’ve been to my shows as Black Panda, you know I love to stay connected to the people around me. Much love.
Remember the Soul Behind the Music
As the clock ticked past 3 a.m. one night at San Francisco’s Great Northern, New Jersey house legend Kerri Chandler took a departure from his adventure through the deepness of House music to pay homage to Angie Stone.
Stone, perhaps most known as a foremother of neo-soul and a member of the hip hop group Sequence, tragically died less than a week earlier in a car accident at the age of 63 after she left a concert in Alabama. Not long before, we lost Gwen McRae, also known as the “queen of the rare groove.”
As Chandler played Stone’s iconic track “Wish I Didn’t Miss You,” the crowd’s mood shifted. Eyes closed. Hearts opened. Hypnotism gave way to euphoria. The people sang:
I can't eat, I can't sleep anymore
Waiting for love to walk through the door
I wish I didn't miss you anymore
Her voice still shakes the soul, even after her untimely passing.
Throughout its history, dance music has found ways to pay homage to the pioneers of funk, soul, disco, and R&B. Often, it’s through sampling songs long past. Even producers today work with iconic vocalists like Crystal Waters, Kathy Brown, and CeCe Peniston, whose powerful, soulful voices add an emotional resonance, to harken to a time when live collaboration rested at the forefront of music.
So when the dance music world loses its pioneers, we lose the soul behind the music. It’s on us to keep that appreciation alive. Let’s do so in the records we play and the music we share.
What’s Next?
April came out swinging with five events in five days. I needed a break before I get back into the groove of gigs. So, what do we have cooking so far in April and May?
Saturday, April 26 - House Music All Night Long @ Bergerac (SF): I can’t wait to celebrate the homie Enji’s birthday. So thankful for the invite. If you want a taste of what’s to come when I throw my Paradise Found party, come through.
Sunday, April 27 - Soul Salon Vol. 02 @ The Faight (SF): We can’t wait to announce the next Soul Salon. We’re bringing in ZZ (Fault Radio) and jarradcleofé for the day and we can’t wait to experiment with a deeply intimate space at The Faight in San Francisco’s Haight-Ashbury neighborhood. Save the date.
May 1 - May 4: UnSCruz @ Santa Cruz Fairgrounds (CA): When I’m not curating and DJing parties, I’m also a resident at Heavy Petting Zoo, an amazing Burning Man art car community that hosts free and family-friendly events around the San Francisco Bay Area. I’m excited to be one of the leads for their crew for the Burning Man regional event. It’ll also be my birthday weekend, so let’s celebrate together if you end up going. Don’t worry we’ll have more chances to boogie for the birthday. Maybe as a present: Buy a ticket to Paradise Found?
May 24 - May 26: Movement Festival Detroit: This is the Mecca of Techno. I can’t wait to finally go on this pilgrimage to Detroit, where Techno started, to get inspired. I’m especially excited to check out the Detroit Love, Defected, Black Techno Matters, and KMS Records after parties. Hit me up if you’re going, and let’s revel in it together! And if you happen to be a promoter reading this, here’s my press kit (EPK).
Saturday, May 31 - Pandamonium Presents: Paradise Found @ Bergerac (SF): This one’s massive. It’s my first ticketed event, and we’ve got a jam packed lineup. I want to bring the immediacy and intention I saw in Sydney and elsewhere into Bergerac that night, just as we do in every dance floor we grace. We’ve got audiovisuals from DJ Maculate, go-go dancing from Voluptuous Vibes, and dancing from the incredible drag queen, Amyl Westwood. We’ve also got a stellar lineup of dear friends who are doing amazing work in the San Francisco Bay Area dance scene from Charles Hawthorne to Bay B Sol to GOMA to NISA. Get your tickets now for $5.
Let’s Not Forget
As a treat for making it to the end, here’s a pic of Nano
Edwin “Eddie” Rios is a Brooklyn-born, Oakland-based freelance writer and DJ/producer (Black Panda). You can find his writing life here. You can follow his musical journey here. Here’s his SoundCloud and Spotify. Share this with your friends.